


The Middle Plane

by ZecharyMael



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Astral Plane, Doctor Dean Winchester, M/M, Not sure how to tag correctly so, One Shot, Top!Castiel, bottom!Castiel, bottom!Dean, top!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-10-13 17:56:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17492537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZecharyMael/pseuds/ZecharyMael
Summary: “When I came here, to your world, I was only supposed to stay for a day. To observe, then report back.”Dean cocked his head faintly. “Observe? Why?”“Yeah.” Cas chuckled. “Your world…it petrified them.”“It’s just a dream, though.”He looked at Dean, eyes slightly wide. “You…you know? That it’s a dream?”Dean nodded. “Of course.”Castiel sighed, smiling a bit wider. “Yeah, well, dreams reflect your desires and your fears. They’re symbolic. Your dreams changed drastically and were consistent, so the angels sent me to make sure you were okay.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So, this is my first time writing a destiel fic. I don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine.  
> Also, I do love Benny with all my heart. He was the only other character I could see being with Dean.  
> If anything is confusing, please let me know, or if you have any questions or opinions!

It’s common knowledge to not date coworkers, you could fuck everything up professionally. There’s competition, snide remarks thrown your way because the other doesn’t let anything go, and trying to make you jealous.

You’re an adult, you’re better than this. You keep to yourself, don’t keep your ex in mind when you’re working. When you walk by him and he’s obviously flirting with someone he’s not even interested in, just to make you feel shitty. But you don’t. You don’t care because you’re better than this.

Except you’re not. But you want to be. It hurts, and even though you know better, you can’t help your feelings. It’s over. It’s been over for months, and you’re the one that ended it, but you still care. There’s still a hint of love in there, and because of that, everything hurts. 

Do you want him? No. Do you want someone else to have him? No. Are you over him? Yes. Maybe.

It’s a complicated feeling.

Dean figured he feels like this because he hasn’t tried to move on, to date, to even get laid. 

Dean figured he feels like this because he has a constant ex always in the workplace, working a bit too close to patients, laughing a bit too loud, flirting a bit too much _just_ to bother Dean. But he won’t let this get to him.

And he doesn’t.

Not when Benny leans in close to a nurse, not when Benny strokes his arm, not when Benny closes the gap between their mouths-

He can’t.

Dean moved quickly back into his office, breathing a bit too hard. He sits on his chair, leans forward with his hands in his hair and pulls a bit too hard. 

It gets easier. It has to. Benny does this purposely to torment Dean, to make him angry. To make Dean regret what he lost, but he doesn’t regret it. He’s just…There. All the time. Good memories play in his head, and for a moment, he thinks maybe he does regret it, then he remembers the bad. How there was always more bad than good, and Dean is okay again. He needs to remember the bad, always.

There’s a knock on Dean’s door and he felt his heart thump a bit hard. He straightens up. He clears his throat. He pats and combs his hair quickly with his fingers before he speaks. “Come in.”

A nurse walks in, setting a clipboard down on Dean’s desk. “Your next patient is ready.”

He nodded. “Thanks, Charlie.” She didn’t leave, only stared at him. Her brows fixed up in worry.

“Charlie, I’m fine,” Dean said, faking a smile, which only made her shake her head. She went to close the door and walked to him again, resting a warm hand on his forehead, making him roll his eyes.

“Charlie. Really.”

“Benny is a dick, Dean. Don’t pay any mind to him.”

He pursed his lips. “You saw?”

She nodded, removing her hand and letting it rest in her lap.

“Well,” he started, grabbing the clipboard she set on his desk and a pen. “Nothing I can do about it, can I? I can’t exactly ignore him,” he circled a box, “Got denied to work on the other side of the building,” another circle, “Just have to see him kiss,” circle, “flirt,” circle, “possibly fuck,” circle, and Dean slammed the clipboard on his desk, startling Charlie. He swallowed, rubbing the heals of his hands into his eyes, inhaling roughly.

Charlie rubbed his back gently. “I love you, Dean. Know that, okay?”

He gave a small nod, voice weak as he spoke. “And I love you too, Charlie.”

“I’m going to give the patient some snacks, tell them you’re held up. Take a breather, alright?”

“Yeah.”

She removed her hand and left, and his breathing should be more calm, but it’s not. Charlie did nothing wrong, but having to talk about him just makes him feel shitty. And to think others that work with him notice what’s going around between him and Benny just makes him want to shake and curl away. 

He wants to sleep forever. Wishes he could. He can’t.

Dean stood up, grabbing the clipboard and walked into one of the smaller rooms where the patients wait.

“Okay,” he looked at the name on the clipboard, “Jimmy Novak.” Dean looked at the man that was sitting on the examination chair, and his breathing hitched.

“I, uh. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting,” Dean said blinking a little fast, shifting his weight between his feet until he felt comfortable.

“It’s alright,” he said with a small smile, a grape juice can in his hand.

He looks and sounds too familiar. A familiarity that doesn’t exist. He’s the man Dean dreams about every night, the Angel that fights with him every night.

They say that you can’t make faces up, so if it shows up in your dream, you have seen that face before. Guess it makes sense, just an old patient. 

It should make Dean feel relieved, but it doesn’t. Just makes him more nervous, and when this man looks at him with his deep blue eyes filled with curiosity, Dean’s neck felt warm. He can’t mix his dreams with real life, because his Castiel isn’t real. Castiel just has this man’s face. 

He can’t think of this now. He’s at work.

Dean cleared his throat and looked through the papers on his clipboard, “So, you’re here for, uh, just a physical, correct?”

Castiel, no, _Jimmy_ , nods and looks at his feet. “Yeah.” His voice was less deep than in his dream and that made Dean relax slightly. 

_They’re not the same._

“Alright, let me just-“ Dean shifted through the papers, and shit, he scribbled all over one when he tried to distract himself earlier. “Okay, seems like the receptionist forgot to print one page.” He sat down, clicked at his computer and printed the page he wrote on. “I’ll just-“ Dean walked and seemed to stumble slightly. 

“Are you okay?” Jimmy’s brows furrowed, turning his body to look at Dean which made Dean more nervous.

“Y-yeah. I’m just-“ He went to the hallway and quickly grabbed the piece of paper, rubbing a hand over his face. He murmured ‘Fuck,’ and walked back in the room, closing the door.

“So sorry about that. I’m just- bad day, is all.” Dean tried to force a smile to Jimmy as he sat down, but it only made Jimmy bite his lip, and Dean couldn’t help but to stare at his lip.

He cleared his own throat before he thought of anything else relating to his dreams, clipping the piece of paper in place of the scribbled, turning his mistake upside down on the counter.

“Anything specific that you’re concerned about?”

“No.”

“Alright-“ Dean said, standing up, grabbing a tongue depressor, “Open your mouth, please.”

Jimmy opened his mouth as Dean pressed the stick on his tongue, grabbing a flashlight so he can look at his tonsils, but Dean had a problem focusing as he was overly aware at how Jimmy was staring at him. 

When he finished with his tongue, Dean went on to check his temperature then his blood pressure.

“Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you,” asked Jimmy, which surprised Dean. Patients don’t ask the doctor if they want to talk. It’s abnormal. The doctor asks the patients. 

“I- uh, It’s okay. Thanks, though.”

Jimmy gave him a small smile. “If you don’t want to, that’s okay. But it feels like you want to say something. You feel nervous, maybe panicked. Worried.”

Dean gave a nervous laugh, looking at his hands before grabbing his stethoscope. “You can sense my feelings?”

“Not any more than a regular person.” Dean heard how his voice dropped in tune, and he knows how much he’s exaggerating at the moment.

“Well,” he sighed, pressing the drum to Jimmy’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. “You look familiar, for one.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

Dean shook his head, giving him a grin, moving the drum over another part of his chest. “Don’t be. That’s not bad, at all. Trust me.” Jimmy’s heart beat faster. “Kind of act the same, too.” He moved the drum to Jimmy’s back, moving it around slightly. “So it’s just kind of odd. I guess that’s where you sensed me being nervous from.”

“I see. But it’s not bad?” He swallowed, staring at Dean again and it was slightly unsettling. Like he’s focusing deeply on him.

“Of course not,” Dean murmured, taking the eardrums out and setting the stethoscope on the counter, charting down everything.

“Is that not what caused your panic?” he spoke, and Dean licked his lower lip, looking back at Jimmy.

“No, no. That’s- See, my ex works here. And he’s…sort of being a dick. Trying to make me jealous, and I just-“ He shook his head, laughing desperately, wiping his mouth slightly. “It works, you know?” He sat down. “I don’t want him back, he was horrible. We were horrible. But to see someone you once loved purposely try to flirt with everyone? It feels like shit. It doesn’t help I haven’t gotten out there and tried to date, and I guess once I fall for someone else, it won’t hurt anymore. But it hurts now because my heart doesn’t belong to anyone else. It’s just hanging by a thread, alone.”

“I see. I’m…sorry, Dr. Winchester.” His brows knitted in worry, looking down toward Dean’s feet then back up, keeping eye contact. “I don’t…I have never been in love, so I have no idea how that feels. So I’m sorry if my advice is far from being helpful, but maybe he does that, hurts you on purpose, because he’s bitter. He’d rather hurt you and see you in pain than to get over it, than to be happy himself. And he’s not happy, can’t be, if all his efforts goes to make you feel like this.” He gave a light shrug. “You have control over him, in a way. Act as if it doesn’t bother you, that you have moved on. Maybe he’ll stop.”

Dean just stared at him, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Corner of his mouth curved into a slight grin. “You might be right. I don’t usually show my emotions, but when it’s him…I don’t know. I can’t help it.” He clasped his hands together, standing up. “I’ll try better. Make him feel shitty for not making me feel shitty. Thank you, Jimmy. Means a lot.” 

“Of course,” replied Jimmy with a smile, making Dean smile in return. He returned to examining Jimmy. When the physical portion was finished, Dean grabbed his clipboard again and asked about his mental health, and he seemed happy, and when Dean asked about his relative’s history, he got quiet. Cleared his throat. “Don’t know them,” he said simply, but it was if it was no big deal. Jimmy didn’t care enough to elaborate as he just got off the examination chair. 

Dean tapped his pen on the clipboard and nodded anyway, circling a few more items before standing up. “Alright, just need a nurse to draw your blood and you’ll be good.” 

He nodded, absentmindedly grabbing his forearm.

There was a special area for blood being drawn out in the hallway. Dean led him there, and pressed a button for a nurse to come. Charlie came out not long after, smiling at him.

“Ready to get poked?” She said excitedly, making him pale.

A chuckle came from Dean’s lips, and he didn’t mean for it to come out, but it did and it made Jimmy’s face turn pink.

Then he felt bad. He faced Jimmy, leaning on the counter, “Hey.” Jimmy swallowed, looking up at Dean. “What is your favorite animal, Jimmy?” He furrowed his brows as Charlie wrapped a tourniquet around his arm.

“What?”

“Animal. What is it?”

He blinked. “Um. A Lion.”

“Why?”

His nerves seems to have subsided and was replaced with curiosity, and he didn’t even notice when Charlie stuck a needle into his arm. He just looked at Dean, holding his gaze through it all.

“Why, Jimmy?”

“They’re…big. They’re just very big cats, and I find them fascinating. The way they walk, how they hide in the tall grass. They’re the royalty of the jungle.” He gave Dean a small smile, the hand on his free arm tapping the armrest softly. “I don’t know. I love that they’re strong.”

“Yeah?” Dean grinned at him. “Do you want to be a lion?”

“I think it’d be cool,” he admitted.

Dean nodded, feeling better that he was able to help Jimmy focus on anything other than the needle in his arm. And he should’ve held Jimmy’s gaze, continue talking, but he looked down the hallway momentarily, and when he saw Benny, his stomach dropped. He acted professional, talking to that nurse he kissed earlier, but when he saw Dean looking his way, his posture curved. He leaned into the nurse, touched and started to kiss him.

Dean swallowed thickly. It was obvious, so painfully obvious what he’s doing. _He’s bitter. Just trying to hurt you because he’s not happy_. Yeah. Still not easy. 

He looked back to Jimmy whom wasn’t looking at him anymore, but in the direction of Benny, and it must’ve been too obvious of how he felt, because Jimmy was frowning, looking at Dean again. And Charlie had her brows knitted in worry, putting a band-aid and adhesive tape on Jimmy before grabbing the blood vials.

She walked closer to him, letting her hand rest on his arm. “Dean…”

A fake laugh emitted from Dean’s mouth. “It’s fine, Charlie. Really. Whatever. He’s just a dick.”

She bit her lip, rubbing his arm gently. “I’ll check on you when I’m done, alright?” Then she left. 

Jimmy stood up, rolling the sleeve of his shirt. “Dean…?”

He swallowed again, his fingers tightening on the edge of the counter he didn’t realize he was holding onto. “Yeah, Jimmy?”

“What about you? What is your favorite animal?”

That wasn’t the question he was expecting, but it made him smile anyway. “A wolf.”

It was his turn to make Dean feel better. He walked closer as he asked, “Why?”

“They’re loyal, and they protect what they love. I think they’re one of the best hunters out there.” Dean licked his lower lip, and Jimmy was way too close to him. The familiarity he has with this stranger is unbelievable.

Jimmy looked down the hallway again to where Benny was, giving them glances, and he looked back at Dean, murmured, “Follow my lead.”

Dean glanced down the hallway again, his face heating up. “For what?” And he looked toward the other man, and he saw how he stepped closer to him, one hand gripping Dean’s tie, wrapping it once, twice around his hand, and their lips pressed together roughly. At first, Dean stilled. Stunned.

“You need to pretend you’re into it for it to work,” he murmured against Dean’s lips, barely brushing, one hand brushing up the back of his neck. Dean nodded slightly, pressing his lips against Jimmy’s, one hand curving around, his fingers pressing into the small of his back. 

His brain felt numb, not sure _why_ Jimmy had to kiss him. Not sure _why_ kissing him felt so good. The drop in his stomach was no more, the vile he felt while watching his ex was gone. There was nothing but warmth in his body, and as he kissed Jimmy harder, their lips moving together in harmony, he felt different, it felt good.

The tug on Dean’s tie made him let out a soft growl, and it wasn’t on purpose, but his instincts took over, pulling Jimmy around so his back is pressed against the wall. He let out a soft huff, but kissed Dean just as hard, just as rough. Dean’s free hand caressed the side of Jimmy’s neck, his teeth nipping on the man’s lower lip.

And just like that, the kiss is broken. Both men catching their breaths. Dean opened his eyes, looking at Jimmy as Jimmy looks back at him, biting his own lip. 

Dean had a thing about staring, and he didn’t mean to, but he couldn’t help it. He stared at Jimmy while he bit his lip, looked to the side and smiled. Dean followed his gaze, and there was Benny fighting with the nurse, his face red. The nurse tried to grab his arm, but Benny only pushed him away as he walked away. “It worked,” murmured Jimmy. Dean smiled, parting from Jimmy’s body.

“I guess it did,” said Dean with a small grin, looking down as he tucks his tie back into his vest.

“I hope he leaves you alone now. Think about what I said earlier.”

“Yeah, I will.” And he will because not everything is one-sided. Dean will change, not let Benny get under his skin. If he just ignores him, maybe everything at work will go back to normal.

Jimmy patted Dean’s arm gently as he walked past him, and Dean turned slightly to watch him. “Hey, uh, thanks a lot, Jimmy. I mean it.”

He chuckled, glancing back at Dean. “Anytime. Also, my real name is Castiel.” He tapped his nose twice and winked before turning the corner of the hallway.

His name-

Castiel?

Dean walked quickly, followed right behind Castiel, but when he turned the corner, there was no one but a couple of nurses filling out some paperwork.

Well, fuck.

*******

Three hundred and something days ago Dean met Castiel for the first time. It wasn’t coincidental that his dreams started to take a dark turn before then. Before, it was fine. Dreams were dreams. Then it became consistent; the darkness. Every dream was the same. Every dream started the same; bright, happy, _normal_. Then it shifted, and Dean got used to it. He didn’t question it, hell, he didn’t even realize they were dreams until he woke up. You’re vaguely aware that you’re in a dream unless your conscious starts to wake, then you know.

As ruthless as his dreams were, _he liked it_.

It scared the shit out of him every time his dream shifted, but it was okay. _Dean_ was in control. _Dean_ was the hunter. _Dean_ was the one to hurt.

The first time Dean saw Castiel, he just sat on the beach, looking across the water. What was more peculiar than the wings connecting to the man, idly swaying behind him? The man himself. No one came here, not to this place. This place was Dean’s, and he was the only human to set foot on this world, not that it was on purpose. The rest were monsters that Dean had to kill himself. 

The man didn’t seem harmful, and Dean wondered what he was, if not human. Every monster has a distorted face. He doesn’t. The word angel crossed his mind. Do they exist? Why would Dean even make him exist here? He’s never thought of angels before. Angels are pure, supposed to protect. Dean doesn’t have an angel. He doesn’t have someone looking out for him, he knows this much. 

Dean walked closer to the angel, carefully, slowly. “Hi,” he said, and the man looked up at him, his bright blue eyes with a slight gold hue circling his iris. Dean only blinked, could feel the aura bouncing off the being. The sun bounced off his face, making the orange hue make him look young and soft, like maybe _he_ needed protecting. It relaxed Dean slightly.

 _“Hi,”_ it replied, voice deep, wrapping both its arms around its legs, wings ruffling more behind him.

“Are you an angel,” he asked, and the being knitted its brows in slight confusion. Dean had to ask, he couldn’t just assume. 

“I am,” he said, softer.

Dean nodded, sitting down beside the angel, looking at his wings again, large and white. They were scrunched up for the most part, but still swaying, the end of the feathers pushing some sand around, making a small trail from where they started. They gave a glitter shine from the sun, and Dean wished he had an angel looking out for him.

“I really like your wings,” Dean told him, grinning, and for a moment he thought he said something wrong because the angel’s wings stilled. It glanced over its shoulder, and his wings went languid in the sand. The corner of his lips turned into a small smile. “They’re beautiful.”

This time, the angel’s face turned a soft pink, and not from the sunlight. 

“I’m Dean,” he spoke again, this time looking out toward the water. 

“Castiel.” The angel cleared his throat, looking where Dean has his gaze. In the distance was a dolphin, doing a flip in the water. It made Castiel smile. “I like it here. It’s serene.” 

Dean felt Castiel’s gaze on him, but he couldn’t look back. He felt the lump in his throat that never went away. His fingers dug into the sand slightly as the sun moved faster beyond the horizon, darkness quickly taking over. It made Dean close his eyes as he knew what is to happen, and even though he couldn’t physically see it, he could anyway. His eyelids always showed him what didn’t want to see, what he hated.

If it wasn’t for the icy wind biting at his skin to show it was the first step, then it was the red and black lightening strikes in the sky. He could feel the dread in the air, could feel it pulse through his veins. 

He sighed, standing up. So used to of what happens, he stopped noticing the small things. Like how warmth would spread around his hand as small bright particles circled around it, evaporating as a sword manifested in his palm.

The angel looked up at him, confusion and worry in his eyes.

“You should stay here,” murmured Dean, quickly walking off to the forest behind them. He didn’t want the monsters to go after Castiel. If he was going to visit Dean’s monster-infested world, then he should at least be safe. 

He could at least try to stay safe. Dean felt the angel follow him, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a faint bit pleased at that, despite wanting him safe at the same time. 

Dean ran ahead, past trees, past bushes, furthering into the darkness, and maybe it was inhumanly possible to be able to see, but he could. He should hate the darkness, but it feels a part of him. The dread he felt earlier has subsided, and now he feels at home. He feels at home in the forest. In the dark. And he felt at home when he cut off a vampire’s head off, letting it roll away. Dean bit the side of his cheek, breaking slightly. It’s not normal to be this much at peace of what he’s doing. He furthered more, continued to cut more necks. 

Monsters are monsters. If he didn’t, they’d hurt him first. And he won’t let that happen. They didn’t care who they hurt, what they did. Dean’s simply doing it first so they don’t get an advantage. He leaned against a tree and sighed softly. There were soft crunches to the side, and he looked, and it was Castiel, still following him. 

Dean could see his eyes clearly, still blue, still worried. 

Castiel licked his lips softly, and Dean knew better than to look, but he did anyway. Castiel was damn hot. The way his hair was pushed up slightly in the middle, soft. Could just card his fingers through the locks. The way his lips were plump. Could just kiss and bite on them. The way Castiel tried to catch his breath, chest moving up and down quickly. Could almost press his fingers there, feel his breathing even out. 

It was too much to think about him. He was a stranger. An angel. He had no right to think of that so quickly, about someone he just met. 

“You didn’t listen to me,” stated Dean, hint of amusement in his tone.

Castiel gave him a small smile, shaking his head. “I did not.”

Dean grinned now. “Do you know how to fight?”

He nodded this time, biting his lower lip. “I do.”

“Will you help me, then?” he asked, and that was such a big step for Dean. To ask someone else for help. He could do this all on his own, kill everything here by himself, but despite that, he wanted Castiel here. It was more than the lust he felt for the angel, he felt the angel wouldn’t betray him. Wouldn’t hurt him. And Dean trusted his instinct here. He didn’t expect Castiel to agree. Didn’t expect him to walk forward, smile, and say ‘of course I will,’ but he did.

The angel’s demeanor changed ever so slightly; he was still warm, still had that strong aura, but now he didn’t look worried. He looked at Dean with determination, and that itself made Dean’s heart sting. He was happy.

Dean manifested a sword in his free hand, one to look just like his, and flipped it over, holding the blade, extending it toward Castiel. 

He reluctantly stepped closer. The moment he grabbed the handle of the sword, warmth spread quickly throughout Dean’s body, warming his bones, a slight fire buzzing beneath. When he let go of the blade, the warmth disappeared. Castiel looked at the sword, admiring the design on the handle slightly before looking back at Dean.

Dean blinked. Castiel was filled with so much warmth, like it was love itself, pure, harmonious. And he had no idea he was.

“Great,” said Dean with a bit too much excitement, and maybe he should’ve held that in, but it made the angel blush. 

_I hope he shows up tomorrow,_ Dean thought.

*******

Air was pushing past his lips, into his throat, into his lungs. Nothing. His head tilted back, nose closed, and more air was pushed in and Dean involuntarily started to cough up the water, letting it slip from his lips. He was forced on his side as more water came up, his lungs clearing up as he choked slightly, spitting excess water on the ground.

“Fuck,” he murmured weakly. 

A warm hand laid on Dean’s back, rubbing and patting gently. “Dean, why were you in the water?” Castiel’s voice trembled slightly, thick with worry. He tried to hide it, but he couldn’t help himself. His fingers curled somewhat, gripping Dean’s wet shirt. Dean couldn’t help it either when he smiled despite drowning just moments ago. He looked up at his angel, his brows knitted together in worry, eyes sad, staring down at Dean, water dripping from his hair.

“I don’t want to hunt today, Cas,” muttered Dean.

Castiel shook his head. “We won’t.” He started to chew on his lips nervously, looking over Dean’s body. “We got to…we got to get you in the cabin,” Castiel murmured, rushing slightly as he moved Dean’s arm around his neck, his own arm sliding around Dean’s torso, lifting him up. “We got to warm you up, Dean. You’re freezing.”

The breeze brushed past Dean’s wet skin and he shuddered. He didn’t realize how wet he was, how cold the breeze was, how numb he probably felt. He smiled anyway, barely feeling his legs as Castiel made him move forward, his wings curving around them, trying to block the air. 

“Dean,” he whispered into Dean’s ear, fingers gripping his wet shirt more. “The cabin is just a few yards away. Just beyond the trees. Okay? You can do it, Dean. Walk with me.” 

Dean nodded, not completely comprehending what he said. Not realizing how weak he was. His body, his mind; how numb. He leaned his head toward Castiel, feeling a brush of warmth graze his skin, and somehow, his insides. 

“C-Cas?”

“Shh,” replied Castiel, quietly.

There was a dramatic change in Dean’s body from when he coughed up water to now. He got weak too quickly, and this wasn’t normal. He could barely feel his own body, couldn’t control his shaking, couldn’t think coherent thoughts.

And then, heat. Dean was placed in front of the fireplace, sitting up, still shaking, barely watching with half-lidded eyes as Castiel rushed to the bed where Dean had a mountain of blankets, pulled one, and brought it over.

“You got to-“ Castiel quickly grabbed Dean’s shirt and pulled it over, the water splashing across the floor. “C’mon, we got to get you out of your wet clothes.” And he started to undo his jeans, and Dean smiled. 

He remembered when he had to take care of Cas when he fell into the riverbank. Told him he had to get warm. Dean took off his clothes, and Castiel shivered, and was confused. Didn’t understand why. Thought Dean was being a weird human. Then he wrapped a blanket around Castiel, put him in front of the fireplace, and he felt immediately warm. He stared at Dean longer than he meant, cheeks turning pink. He closed his eyes and tightened his grip on the blanket, looking at the fire, smiling. 

Castiel seemed so fragile then. Dean sat next to him by the fire, and they just talked. Dean opened up about his family, his childhood, told him stories, and Castiel was fixated on that. He’s heard very few stories about humans, had even less interactions with them. Usually stayed in the back, observed. Nothing quite interesting.

//

__  
“What about you, Castiel?” Dean asked, smiling at him. Castiel opened his eyes, staring at his green eyes. “What about your family?”

_Castiel thought, hiding a frown. His family? His fingers tightened on the blanket again. “I have thousands of brothers and sisters. I don’t know all of them.” He looked forward again._

_Dean grinned at him, looking back at the flickering flames. “I bet.” Castiel didn’t continue with telling him about his brothers and sisters, and Dean didn’t push, and Castiel was grateful for that._

_There was a hand in Castiel’s hair, ruffling softly. He chuckled, toes curling under the blanket. Dean cared about him, and it made Castiel all the more curious. Why would Dean care about him? He’s just a regular angel. He notices how Dean looks at him, how protective he gets when a monster is near. Dean knows he can take care of himself, but despite that, Dean does everything to protect him. He’s never had this before, never had someone care._

_He wondered so much about him.  
_

\\\

Dean watched Castiel closely, his shirt and pants hanging on top of the fireplace mantel by some rocks Dean found a while ago, thought they were cool. Castiel moved around quickly, making the bed that was to the right side of the fireplace, then moving to the kitchen that was adjacent to the fire, making tea for him. His wings were tucked slightly, gray feathers ruffling slightly, showing Castiel’s emotions too easily.

He was panicking, but he shouldn’t be. Dean was fine. His body felt warm again.

Castiel walked over to Dean, placing a cup of tea in front of him, chewing on his lower lip nervously. It wasn’t the place or the time, but Dean stared at his lips. It was hard not to. From having some real-life Cas kiss him hard at work, to having this Cas here, tousled damp hair and soft lips. He wonders if he tastes the same.

“Cas, you’re wet too.”

He shook his head. “I’m fine. We need to focus on you-“

 _“Castiel,”_ said Dean, sternly, and Castiel’s face flushed. Dean stopped using his full name months ago, and he only said it was he was either upset or serious. Both, usually.

Though Castiel would normally listen to Dean when he used his full name, he didn’t this time. Only went back to the kitchen. 

“You want chicken tenders? I’ll make you tenders.” He was panicking and Dean didn’t understand why. There was something going on with his angel and it worried Dean. 

He hated when Cas panicked. If Dean could, he’d pull all that out of Cas, into him instead. Let him deal with that burden. It wasn’t often Castiel got like this, but when he did, he beat himself over and over, and tried to hide it. It made Dean’s heart ache, and he just wanted to make him feel better.

If he could just make him relax. Make him calm down a bit.

He got up, blanket still wrapped tightly around his shoulders, his fingers holding the edges by his chest as he moved closer to Castiel.

The angel turned around, eyes wide. “Dean, you need to stay by the fire.” He tried to nudge Dean back, his hands pressing to his chest softly, but Dean wouldn’t let him. Dean snuck a hand from between the covers, lifting the blanket slightly as he rested a hand on Castiel’s wrist, thumb rubbing over the soft flesh slowly.

“Cas, I’m fine. Really.”

But Castiel wasn’t having it. He shook his head again, fingers lightly gripping the blanket. “Y-you need to be warm. You need-“

Relax.

Dean leaned in quickly, shutting Castiel up with a kiss. Soft, slow, and at first Castiel didn’t kiss back from shock, but when Dean tightened his grip on Castiel’s wrist, other hand letting go of the blanket and wrapping that arm around his waist, pulling him close until their bodies pressed together, there was a groan. A goddamn groan. Quiet in its own, but it was there.

And it was so pretty to hear that. A noise Cas has never made before, and Dean got to hear that. Such a pretty one. Dean pushed Castiel back slightly, slowly, until his back was pressed against the wall of the cabin. The hand holding Castiel’s wrist loosened, moved up, and Dean slid his finger’s with the angel’s, making their fingers intertwine.

Their lips moved together, rougher, Dean’s teeth taking a small nip of Castiel’s lower before gently pushing his tongue in, and he could just feel Castiel melt into the kiss, his hand sliding so slowly across Dean’s neck, holding the back gently. 

Dean didn’t notice if his skin got cold from pressing into Castiel’s damp clothing, and if he did, he didn’t care because right now, it was just him and his angel. His wonderful angel whose fingers ran up and _dug_ in Dean’s hair, making it that much harder to breathe.

When he pulled away, barely, lips still brushing, Dean grazed his nose against Castiel’s slowly. He felt Castiel’s small, short breaths, and he felt when he licked his own lips lightly. 

_He tastes exactly like real-life Cas._

Dean pulled away slowly, looking at him, and he noticed how Cas’ lip was doing a light quiver and his eyes were moist, making Dean furrow his brows because no. No. No.

“Cas,” he muttered. Castiel tightened his grip on Dean’s hand when he felt him try to pull it away, and he swallowed roughly. “Cas,” he said again, softer. Dean unwrapped his arm from Castiel’s waist, cupping the angel’s cheek as he brushed his thumb in soft circle over the cheek bone.

“Dean, I-“ he started, but closed his mouth tightly. Breathing in heavy, “You scared me. Don’t…don’t do that again, okay?” 

Dean only nodded, leaned in again to kiss him and he responded instantly, lips moving languidly together. It was a dream, Dean knew this. 

Fortunately, he couldn’t die even if he tried.

Unfortunately, this was only a dream.


	2. Chapter 2

Every day— _dream_ —Dean and Castiel spent most of the time kissing, not that either of them minded. It’s what they both have wanted for such a long time, even if they didn’t admit it to each other. Dean felt like a teenager again with how excessive they were on each other’s mouths, but it was so damn good, and he loved to touch Castiel. His mouth with his own, their arms around each other, hands exploring slowly, delicately. Neither tried to do more than that. 

Not that they both didn’t want to.

Dean didn’t want to pressure Castiel into anything, knowing he was a virgin, and probably wanted to stay that way to be ‘holy,’ since, evidently, he is an angel of the Lord. Castiel did give small hints. Like bucking his hips when Dean held his waist, to tell him it’s okay to touch him, to do more, but Dean never did. Like pressing his crotch to Dean’s, but still. Nothing.

The air has substantially improved, warmer than it’s ever been, and the sun seemed to stay in the sky so much longer. Most of the dream, actually. Pinkish hue was everywhere, and it made Castiel’s face glow.

Dean slowly pulled Castiel’s face away from his, the angel straddling his thighs as he sat on the ground, leaning against a tree he found to be his favorite. He looked down at Dean, his own breath heavy as he licked his lips. 

“Tell me a secret,” requested Dean as he lifted his hand up to caress Castiel’s cheek, making Castiel lean into his touch slightly. Every aspect of Castiel’s life was a secret. Not that Dean openly asked, but it’d be nice to know more about him. There were a few times where Dean did ask, nothing that seemed too personal, but apparently they were. He always gave Dean short answers, and it disappointed him to his core, not that he ever showed it. That was something he hid for now.

Castiel chewed on his lower lip, thinking, and he smiled, rocking his hips ever so slightly. “Alright. If you tell me one in return.”

“Deal.”

The angel leaned into Dean’s ear, whispered, “I want to have sex with you,” and he pulled away, looking at the man with a blush he could feel spreading throughout his body, and Dean stared at him, swallowing. His fingers pressed into his hip, unheeding how much he pushed in, and when he realized, he let go, rubbing his thumb over where he pressed too hard, afraid to hurt Castiel.

“Yeah?” He gently made Castiel’s body move back and forth, making him move on top in a slow, torturous grind. “Well, I want to have sex with you, too.”

Dean grinned, pulling Castiel’s face close to his again, lips barely brushing. 

“I would love a real secret, though. About you. Can you do that for me?” asked Dean, looking into the angel’s blue eyes. “Please?”

Castiel inhaled sharply, one hand brushing over Dean’s shoulder lightly, moving to rest his palm on the tree behind him. He nodded gingerly, eyes casting downward between their bodies. “Alright.” Dean pecked his chin softly, making Castiel’s lips curve a bit. “When I came here, to your world, I was only supposed to stay for a day. To observe, then report back.”

Dean cocked his head faintly. “Observe? Why?”

“Yeah.” Cas chuckled. “Your world…it petrified them.”

“It’s just a dream, though.”

He looked at Dean, eyes slightly wide. “You…you know? That it’s a dream?”

Dean nodded. “Of course.”

Castiel sighed, smiling a bit wider. “Yeah, well, dreams reflect your desires and your fears. They’re symbolic. Your dreams changed drastically and were consistent, so the angels sent me to make sure you were okay.”

Hands grazed and held Castiel’s face, making him look at Dean. “Was I okay?”

Castiel’s eyes closed, fingers brushing up Dean’s arms. He turned his face and kissed Dean’s palm, mumbled, “You seemed to be. Frightened, maybe, at first, but once you had a sword in your hand, you seemed okay.” He opened his eyes and glanced to his human. “Do you remember the first time we met?”

“It was the best day of my life, Cas. Of course I do.” Castiel moved forward, pressing his face into Dean’s neck, curling slightly to be closer. Dean moved his hands, fingers brushing along Castiel’s neck, moving downward, slowly, grazing his feathers softly, making the angel’s wings flutter delicately, fingers continuing down over his spine to his lower back. Dean dipped his fingers underneath Cas’ shirt, pressing into the small of his back, stroking tenderly. “You scared me at first, did you know that? When I first saw you, I felt you; your aura, that is. I didn’t know what you were, but I could feel how strong you were. Despite that, I just wanted to protect you. Wanted to make sure you were safe, but you followed me through that damn forest anyway, through all that darkness filled with monsters, and I was infatuated with you.

God, I was infatuated with you, Cas. And you were so fuckin’ beautiful. Your face, your wings. I was so damn infatuated, and I felt so childish. I had a crush on you just like that. And then I got to know you. How fuckin’ kind you are, how caring, how protective you can get, how much love you give, how compassionate you can be.” 

Castiel curved his wings around them, his body trying to press closer to Dean’s, his fingers gripping Dean’s shirt tightly. _“Dean,”_ he murmured, which made Dean hold him closer.

“You’re the most amazing thing to happen to me, Castiel. I’m serious. I’m so fuckin’ lucky I have you. I would do anything to keep you around.” Dean felt Castiel shiver, felt the warmth of his breath pick up across Dean’s neck. He knew it hit something within Cas, and he so badly wanted to hold his face, kiss him, tell him it’s okay.

Instead Dean just ran the tip of his fingers up Cas’ soft skin, following his spine.

“You are so strong, Cas,” Dean spoke again, quieter into his ear. “You’re meticulous with everything you do, and fuck if I don’t admire that. There are just so many things I love about you, Cas. And I…” He closed his eyes, fingers curling slightly at the realization. “I love you, Cas. Is that okay? That I love you? Because I do.”

Castiel pulled back, gaping at Dean. His throat was dry and he felt his heart thump harder in his chest. Yes. It was hard to speak, but Castiel pushed it out anyway. “Yes, Dean.” He leaned and captured Dean’s lips, kissing him hard, his fingers moving to Dean’s neck, gripping the back tightly as their lips moved, fighting the soft embrace of each other, tongues barely slipping in and out, moving together. There were bites, and if either bit too hard, they didn’t feel it as they drowned into each other. 

Both their eyes closed as they kissed and Dean inadvertently flashed their bodies from outside on the soft grass, to the bed resting in the corner of the cabin, and it wasn’t very often Dean was able to do that, but when he wanted something bad enough, he could make it happen.

The blankets were curled around them like a nest and Castiel nudged Dean’s chest, making the man lie back as the angel looked down at his human, eyes dark. “I love you, too, Dean,” he breathed out, “Is that okay?”

Dean could almost laugh, his smile wide as he slid both his hands to Castiel’s thighs, digging his nails down into the fabric of his pants. “Of course, Cas.”

Castiel leaned down quickly, capturing Dean’s mouth in another kiss, hot and heavy as he experimented with his hips, moving up and down, circles, slow and rough until he ignited a groan from his human’s mouth. He smiled against the kiss, continuing with his hips for as long as he could until Dean got impatient, flipping them over.

“God, Cas,” mumbled Dean, resting himself between Castiel’s thighs, leaning over as he brushed his lips over his angel’s jaw, grazing lightly to make him shudder. Castiel moved his legs upward around his hips, tightening around Dean securely. “I want to do so much to you.” His lips brushed down to graze below Castiel’s ear, breath warm and light as it ghosted over the skin, sending shivers down Cas’ spine and landing right to his cock. Dean took a small nip at Castiel’s earlobe and the angel made a small noise of pleasure.

_“Dean,”_ he muttered under his breath.

“Your body is so damn responsive, Cas.”

“My senses are amplified since I’m an angel. I’m sorry, I-“

“Don’t be sorry, Cas. Don’t. It’s such a good thing. You’re so sensitive to every touch.” Dean moved one hand down, pushing Castiel’s hip down gently. “If everything feels good now, just wait until I’m inside you. You’re going to feel so good.” And Dean was so excited and impatient, but he knew he had to take his time. Has to make this so good for Castiel. 

As soon as Dean sat up slightly, Castiel followed, shrugging off his trench coat and went forward to unbutton Dean’s shirt. He grinned and started to help unbutton, their fingers meeting in the middle as Castiel pushed it off and Dean kissed him again as they did, just a slow one before he pulled Castiel’s shirt from inside his pants, unbuttoning quickly and Dean’s sure he accidentally ripped a few when he opened up his shirt, sliding it down over Castiel’s shoulders.

They both panted against each other’s mouths, Dean slowly grabbing Castiel’s tie, tugging on it gently, whispered, “There’s so many things I can do to you with this tie,” and he heard Cas let out a whine, making Dean grin, but now wasn’t the time to experiment.

Right now, he had to make the angel shake and moan, curse, give in to Dean. Spread his pretty legs apart so Dean can fit snuggly between, shove his cock inside as if they were the perfect puzzle piece to one another. 

“Dean, I want you,” panted Castiel, hands trembling ever so slightly as he undid Dean’s pants, and Dean chuckled, taking a bite from Castiel’s mouth before pushing him back on the bed, his back making a small thud on the mattress.

God, he was so fucking needy and Dean loved that. He wanted to do absolutely everything to Castiel. Everything.

Castiel laid there, naked and flushed, cock perfectly hard and curved, legs partially spread. He stretched and arched his back wantonly, eyes staring at Dean, and hell, it was too much.

Dean leaned over, forearm resting to Castiel’s side on the bed as his other hand pushed his pants down, letting it lie with Castiel’s clothes on the ground. He moved his hand to graze Castiel’s hip, moving his fingers up his thigh slowly as Dean’s mouth went straight to the curve of Castiel’s neck, kissing softly, teeth grazing the skin. 

The angel shivered, moving a hand to Dean’s back, fingers curling to gently scratch down and Dean felt himself shudder, fingers by Castiel’s thigh quickly moving down further, between his crease, and he pressed in slowly, finding his entrance. Castiel tensed slightly, not ever having something there before. It was new and exciting, but his body was nervous. He’s never been touched like this, but he knows he’s going to love it because it’s Dean. It’s Dean that’s touching him, and it’s Dean that’s going to be in him. 

There were a few small rubs, slow and circular and so unfamiliar, and Castiel couldn’t place the feeling, but when Dean trailed his lips down from his neck to his chest, his ribs, his hip bones and to his thighs, and he felt the feather-like kisses on his skin, he relaxed. 

Then, instantly, his body was bent in half, knees pressing to his chest as Dean moved his mouth more, watching Castiel’s confused, dark look. 

_Don’t worry, baby._

Dean moved his finger away, gripping Castiel’s thigh and giving a light squeeze. His lips moved, hovered, lower and lower, kissing mixed with hot breaths that ran goosebumps over his skin making his wings spread. When Dean pressed his tongue against his entrance, Castiel tensed and let out a low gasp.

“Holy-“ His body arched slightly, making Dean dig his nails into Castiel’s pale flesh. His tongue continued licking wantonly as he stared. The way Castiel parted his lips, the way his head went back, exposing his neck.

_I want to mark you. Claim you._

He pulled his tongue away, sitting up. Dean licked one of his fingers, sucking to get it lubed enough, and Cas was watching him, biting his lip.

“Dean,” he spoke quietly, hips barely rocking, and then he felt it; the wet finger pressing in him, slowly and deeply, all the way in, and it was so unusual to Cas.

He never thought anyone would ever be _in_ him. He never thought he would do this with someone. He never thought he would fall for someone, especially a human. 

But there is. But he is. But he did.

A second finger was pushing with the first and Castiel clenched on Dean’s fingers, his breathing labored, thighs involuntarily clenching, but Dean used his other hand to stroke Castiel’s thighs, soft and light, spreading his thighs again when Castiel got used to the feeling of fingers in him.

Dean pushed his fingers in and out, gently stretching him. He leaned down, tongue licking across Castiel’s flushed cock, base to the tip, and Cas let out a small whine, making Dean’s lip curve slightly. 

He curved his fingers in Cas and when he found that sweet special spot, Castiel’s entire body jolted upward, his hands clenching the bed sheet tightly as his thighs tried to tighten again, but Dean was between his legs, and he grinned. 

“Dean, just—fuck me already,” he growled out, and it made Dean’s cock twitch. He’s never heard Castiel swear or be so demanding with him before, and it was fuckin’ hot. “Y-you don’t have to stretch me. You won’t hurt me. Just put your damn cock in me already.”

Dean’s breathing hitched, pushing his fingers in deep again. He can’t just talk like that. He can’t. 

“What if I want to play with you, Cas?” His fingers twisted and curled again, a moan emitted from Castiel’s dirty mouth, more thighs squeezing again.

As much as he would love to make Castiel come undone, beg and moan for it, Dean wanted to just fuck him, make him feel it. Feel the lust, feel the love that he has for the angel. A dirty, precious love.

Dean pulled his fingers out, his body gliding lightly as he crawled up. Castiel instantly pushed his fingers in Dean’s hair, pulling him down for a kiss and this time, it was rough and wet, dirty. Cas bucked his hips as he ground into Dean for friction, moaning into his human’s mouth. 

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean mumbled against Castiel’s lips, and he couldn’t take it anymore. Cas was so needy for it, and every time he showed it, it pushed Dean closer and closer. 

He pulled away, his lip being tugged down by Cas’ teeth and the angel growled again, his nails dragging from Dean’s head down, around the neck and down his chest, leaving pink marks in the process. 

Dean quickly reached over to the wooden nightstand beside the bed, fumbling around in the drawer, grabbing a bottle of lube and a condom, but Cas grabbed the wrapper and threw it to the ground.

“We don’t need that.”

Shit. Okay.

Dean flipped open the cap and poured some on his fingers, rubbing them together as the lube warmed, spreading it across his cock then pushed his fingers back in Castiel’s hole, making sure he was stretched, and fuck he was. He put the bottle on the nightstand, fingers in Cas curling again before pulling out. 

He held Cas’ thighs up, one hand guiding his flushed head against Castiel’s lubed up, needy entrance. He pushed the tip in and it just fucking swallowed him, and it felt so damn hot and tight, and he just wanted to push all the way in, but he couldn’t.

Cas deliberately clenched and it made Dean hiss. He leaned over the angel, one hand resting beside Castiel’s side, Cas’ leg curving around the arm as his body bent more.

“Don’t do that,” mumbled Dean, and Castiel only smirked.

“What are you going to do about it, Dean?” He clenched again, and he was a damn tease. Unless Dean was being the tease. Not willing to take him how Cas wants, but going how he wanted.

Dean’s free hand ran up Cas’ body, fingers lightly dancing on his skin, stroking up from his thighs to his cock, stomach, chest, up the neck even softer, and he pressed his thumb across Castiel’s lips, rubbing a bit rougher. “Make you feel it all,” he replied.

Then he pushed forward, slowly, inch by inch filling up Castiel’s greedy hole until there was nothing else to fill him with, and he was so much hotter and tighter than when it was just his head, and Dean couldn’t breathe. 

His hips pulled back just slightly, then in and Castiel moaned, and fuck. He loves it, and Dean loves it, and it can get so much better than this. His thrusts started gradual and slow, easing in, letting Cas get used to being fucked, and Dean getting used to the tightness. He wants this to last, he can’t just thrust a few times and let it be over, but Cas…Cas was so covetous for Dean’s cock, trying to rock his hips up.

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean groaned, leaning down to capture Castiel’s mouth, and they both gasped when Dean’s hips began to move faster, hips slamming roughly.

There were doting fingers running up and down Dean’s back. Dean couldn’t help but shudder, goosebumps lining along his back.

Dean lifted Castiel’s hips, just so slightly, changed his own angle just a bit, and when he thrusted forward, hitting that little sweet spot, Castiel’s body went forward, his wings unfurled quickly, feathers sticking out messily as his muscles clenched around Dean’s cock and it felt so fucking tight, it was impossible to breathe.

A filthy moan emitted from Castiel’s lips and his entire body began to tense as Dean continued hitting with that angle, lips barely brushing against each other as they panted. The thrusts became more erratic, messy, and when Dean moved a hand between them to touch Castiel’s aching cock, stroking and pumping lazily, Castiel felt an unfamiliar warmth spread through him, buzzing through his veins, hot and heavy, and it hit Cas so hard, mind blacking out as he came all over Dean’s fist, his body convulsing, wings involuntarily wrapping around them, and Dean was biting at his mouth, kissing him hard.

Castiel finally kissed Dean back after a bit and when Cas bit Dean’s lower lip, his hips bucked and he came just as hard, thrusting, riding out his orgasm as he spilled inside Cas, not realizing he was letting out several small gasps and moans, toes curling. Dean rested his face in Cas’ neck, breathing heavy, relaxing his body.

“Cas. Fuck,” Dean pulled his spent cock out, blinking as he parted from Cas’ neck, looking around them. Castiel blushed, unwrapping them from his wings. Dean watched them separate and he brushed his fingers against some of the feathers that were on the bed.

Dean swallowed, rolling to sit beside the angel, looking at him with the come still on his stomach, thick and white. 

“How was—Did you like it? I mean-“ Dean spoke quickly, but Cas smiled and sat up, shutting him up with a kiss, a hand caressing Dean’s cheek.

He parted from the kiss, Dean’s eyes still closed as he leaned into Cas’ touch. “I loved it, Dean. Can we do it again?”

Dean opened his eyes, looked into Castiel’s as he pressed their foreheads together, wrapping his arms around his angel, fingers barely brushing against the feathers. “Of course we can,” and they laid down. Dean imagined the come gone from Castiel’s stomach, and it disappeared. 

They laid down, Castiel resting his face into Dean’s neck. Dean watched Castiel’s wings flutter lightly, relax, and flutter again. He smiled, kissing Castiel’s forehead, fingers absentmindedly stroking his spine.

“Cas?”

“Yeah?” He spoke quieter, more relaxed and tired.

“Why did you come back if you were only supposed to come to my dream for one day?”

Castiel furrowed his brows, then smiled when he remembered their conversation. He looked up at Dean, which in return got him a kiss on his nose, then he leaned up on one elbow, resting a free hand on Dean’s chest. “Well, do I really need to say it? You probably already know why.”

“Maybe. Maybe I’d like to hear it,” he grinned at Castiel.

Cas shook his head as he smiled, biting his lower lip lightly. “All right. Well, I was infatuated with you. You were different. You made such a beautiful world, so I knew you had a beautiful mind and heart. I was curious. I followed you through that forest, and you asked me for help. And I…” He licked his lips. “How could I say no? I wanted to help you, and it felt so easy since you asked me. So I came here, everyday, for you. And, in time, honestly, I started to really like you. At first, maybe not. You taught me more complex emotions, Dean. I’m more human because of you, and I love that. And I love you. And I will continue to come here, as long as you want me to.”

Fingers stroked Castiel’s cheek, palm pressing lightly as Dean’s thumb brushed over his eyebrow. “Thank you for saying yes.”

Cas blushed, laying back down, nuzzling into Dean. “Thank you for asking.”

***

There was a realization that hit Dean while talking to Charlie at work; he’s ultimately alone. He works, he eats, he sleeps. Obviously the sleeping portion is his favorite. He gets to see Castiel.

What he knew, though, but wasn’t fully aware of is that Castiel, the one person he’s ever felt more connected to and has loved the most, isn’t real.

He’s a figment.

It never dawned on Dean that he wasn’t _there_ because every day, he’s excitedly go to bed and meet up with him. All day he thought about dreaming, but becoming more aware of this, just became so much more painful.

He woke up alone, he ate breakfast alone, he’d go to work and see someone he hates for fucking hours, and he goes home and no one is waiting for him. 

He used to think he wouldn’t go to an empty house because he would fall asleep just a few hours later and be with Castiel, and it was simply okay.

There was a night where he laid in bed, and he felt the space next to him. It was cold and empty. He didn’t fall asleep with Cas, he didn’t wake with Cas, he didn’t eat with Cas.

 

_  
“Are you really okay? Being alone? You were always a social creature, Dean. I know how much you crave companionship. And I’m so happy you’re feeling wonderful, not thinking of Benny. I really am, but I hate the idea of you being alone,” Charlie spoke, worry and loved etched in her features._

_Dean laughed, thought she was being silly. He was happy. He wasn’t alone, he had Cas. They joked and talked and fought monsters a bit, and they had their own cabin. What’s she talking about?  
_

 

Is he okay being alone? Can he live with only being with Cas at night? He couldn’t hold him in the day, he couldn’t eat with him and talk about their day, he couldn’t go out on dates with him, he couldn’t show him off, he couldn’t take a long lunch to be with his…

He loved someone that he only ever imagined him up.

There was that time someone that looked and had the same name came to his office, kissed him to help him make Benny fuck off, but that wasn’t Cas. Not _his_ Cas.

Dean slowly was distancing himself from Castiel. At first it was barely noticeable. Did less kissing than before, just fought monsters.

Then he spoke less with Castiel. Had less conversations. Every night he fell asleep alone, the more he was resenting his angel. Harder to talk to him, harder to look at him.

It was then that Castiel noticed what Dean was doing, but every time he asked what was wrong, Dean would smile, change the subject.

Castiel sensed how the air shifted from the first night, and it only got worse the more time went on, but Dean wouldn’t talk to him, and he didn’t know what to do. What could he do?

Couldn’t just force Dean to talk to him. He waited, patiently, and when Dean felt it, he’d talk to him, and it’ll be okay, and he’ll comfort Dean.

The more Dean held in his feelings, the worse it got. He wished Charlie never asked if he was okay being alone because now he’s all too aware of everything. It’ll hurt the more this goes on. He couldn’t treat Cas the same.  
 _  
I have to let you go. I have to._

_You’re not real. I fell in love with my imagination.  
_  
“Cas,” Dean spoke softly, and he felt anxious. He never liked to share negative feelings, but he had to do this. He had to.

Castiel looked at Dean back, pausing as he was wiping some blood from his blade. “Yes, Dean?” He sounded a bit hopeful, and Dean’s heart twisted more.

“I-,” he started, moving his gaze to the ground as he leaned back against a tree. “I need you to leave.”

There was silence. He looked toward Castiel and his eyes were slightly wide. “To the cabin?”

He sounded wrecked and pained, trying to make the best of what Dean told him. Hoping. Too much hoping.

Dean shook his head, licking his lower lip quickly. “No, Cas. I mean I need you to go. I want you to leave here. Don’t come back.” Castiel dropped his blade in the damp grass, and Dean saw his throat tighten. He looked away and Dean half expected him to cry because he knew this hurt for both of them, and Dean felt like he could cry, but he held it in.

Cas didn’t cry, though. He just shut his mouth, eyeing something in the distance. Dean just stared at him, leaning on one foot.

“May I ask why?” Cas looked at Dean again, eyes cold while he showed no emotion, jaw clenching slightly. Like how he used to act…  
 __  
I’m sorry baby, I am so so sorry.  
  
“No.”

Cas averted his gaze down, parting his lips then quickly shutting them. “Fine,” he muttered, disappearing.

Dean was left alone, low screeching echoed through the forest. His jaw trembled before he walked and grabbed the blade Castiel dropped.

It hurt a lot more than he thought it would. He crouched on the ground and held himself as he squeezed his eyes shut, tears streaming.

_Fight for me. Be real. Come back and show me you’re real._

But Cas didn’t, and Dean knew he wouldn’t.

It’s for the best.

Will be.

It is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it! Plan on updating the last chapter next weekend.


	3. Chapter 3

It wasn’t okay. Dean wasn’t okay. He thought he would be, but the more time went on, he felt like shit. He was alone awake and asleep.   
Charlie knew Dean’s shitty mood was because of her, and she felt so miserable. She just wanted to make sure he was okay with being alone. Was okay with his life. 

She kicked a stick that held Dean’s happiness up, and it crashed down so hard that it was like rocks piling around in the sand, making everything dusty. You couldn’t see through the air, and although the rocks stopped dropping, the air was unbreathable and heavy. 

She coaxed Dean into going out, and he did a few times. What the hell, not like he had anything to look forward to later. Not at his house, not in his mind. 

He went on a few blind dates with Charlie’s friends, but he always cut them short. It didn’t feel right. They didn’t feel right. 

The problem was him. The problem was he was comparing every guy to Castiel. He didn’t keep a conversation up, and he tried, fake smiled, but they knew, and he knew, and it was a disaster. 

A few bar guys would get close to him, press their hips to his and whisper sultry in his ear, and they’d rub their hands up his body, but it felt dirty.

The bad dirty.

_‘I’ll fuck you so hard, you’ll beg to come’ ‘Let me take you home, I’ll give you such good head’ ‘Fuck me in the bathroom, make me feel it’_

He couldn’t. His cock heard the words, and it’d stir, but he wouldn’t fully get hard. He felt like something was really wrong with him. If not a relationship, then surely a one night stand would do him good? But no.

“Dean, c’mon,” pouted Charlie as she followed him to his office. He stopped and turned around before she followed him inside, halting her with his palm. 

“Look, I appreciate it, but I don’t want to go on anymore blind dates. I’m going to finish typing up a medical summary for a patient, alright?” And he closed the door, and she just stood there, biting her lip.

She turned to leave, but Benny was there, leaning against a wall with a grin. “Looks like you’re a real burden on him, eh?”

“Shut the fuck up, Lafitte,” she hissed.

He feigned being terrified, eyes wide and hands up mid-chest. “Just an observation, sweetheart.”

She stomped toward him, getting a little too close making Benny back up. “You know _nothing,_ you dickwad. Why don’t you just leave him alone? You guys broke up 10 months ago. _Get over it._ You’re so damn desperate to get his attention, it’s pathetic.” She walked away quickly with a huff.

He pursed his lips and looked at Dean’s closed office door before he went to his own office.

Dean heard Charlie with his forehead resting on the door. He smiled, appreciating what she’s done, what she tries to do for him. Dean’s life is messy, and yet she was always there since they started working together.

As quickly as he felt happy for having someone in his life, it quickly vanished. He couldn’t type up the patient summary. He was pretty vague with the few patients he had for the rest of the day, asking routine questions, but he wasn’t there, and they knew, but most still smiled and were friendly, but they didn’t try to engage in small talk, which Dean was thankful for.

Everything was slow and it made Dean’s day painful. He should dream tonight and call for Castiel. He should, and Cas will come, and he’d understand and they’ll share slow kisses and everything will be back to normal. Fuck if he’s real, at least his dreams will be there, happy and bright, and he’ll forget about being alone in real life. Like how it used to be.

It will be okay, right? It has to…

Dean dreamt that night. It was dark and cold. He wished he could change the climate, but unfortunately, the climate only went with his mood. He was sad, so it was dark. He was angry with himself, so it was cold. He felt self loathing, so vicious monsters showed up, more distorted faces than usual, sharper teeth, longer nails.

He killed them. Killed them as quickly as he could.

“Castiel,” he yelled into the forest, and only a gust of wind bit at his skin. He clenched his jaw, moving to another park of the forest, yelling his name again. The beach, the river, the cabin…

Nothing.

He sat on the bed digging the heel of his hands into his eyes. “I’m so sorry. Please. Come back, Cas.” He wiped his eye quickly as he went out again, calling for him more. The air got colder, the sky got darker.

“Cas, I’m sorry!”

Nothing. Nothing worked. It panicked Dean. He can’t get him back? Not even in his dream? Was he this pathetic that he could’t bring back an imaginary being?

Fuck.

He was unaware of how long he called and searched for Castiel until light started to peek over the mountains, just very slightly, sky turning a slight purple, and he jolted awake, his alarm beeping him awake. 

He choked out a sob. He didn’t realize he cried while asleep. He pulled at his hair in frustration before turning off his alarm.

“I can’t even…bring him back…”

He felt sick and his eyes burned and his throat was dry.

His mental state wasn’t clear, and he was in no condition to go into work.

He called in sick and just laid there. There was nothing he could do. Nothing. It was his fault anyway, he has no one to blame except himself. 

The door bell rang around noon, and Dean sighed. He didn’t want to deal with anyone. If he ignored it, they’ll go away. Except they didn’t, the door bell just got more persistent and it was starting to really annoy Dean.

He threw on a shirt and sweat pants. When he answered it was the last person he’d ever expect to be there because there stood Benny in his work clothes, grinning widely.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he purred, and Dean thought he felt sick before, but this doesn’t even compare.

“Fuck off, Benny. Why are you here?” He was goddamn seething, hands clenching. It’s not enough he has to see him at work, but now he has to deal with him in his own damn house? “Leave. Don’t come back.” He didn’t need a reply from Benny, he didn’t. He just wanted him gone.

Dean tried to slam the door closed, but Benny pushed it open roughly and it slammed against a wall. Dean backed up as Benny walked in and his throat tightened. Memories started to flush in, but he wasn’t that scared man he used to be. He could stand up to him, he could force him away.

Benny shut the door behind him as he walked closer, but Dean held his ground. “Leave! Get out of here, Benny!”

He got too close to Dean, and maybe Dean should’ve done something besides just standing there because his shirt was balled in the front and he was shoved against a wall, breath knocked out of him. There was a leg pressed between his own and his body was being pressed by Benny’s, lips ghosting over Dean’s ear, a hand around his throat a bit too tight.

“I heard you were sick, baby. I’m just here to keep you company,” he whispered, a wave of panic washing over Dean, and suddenly he was that weak man again. Suddenly his nightmares became all too real again. Suddenly the monsters seeped and clouded his mind until he was numb inside and out.

And those monsters…as terrible as they were, it gave him that strength. It made him stronger. First they controlled him, made him more terrified of everything, found himself weak and useless. But then, without realizing why or how, he stood tall. He killed them. One by one, until there became less and less. _He_ was the hunter. _He_ was the one in control. Pain and fear won’t define him because they said it would. Pain and fear became his will to be stronger, and it worked.

Dean punched and shoved Benny away until he stumbled back, glaring at Dean. “I said to leave, Benny. I don’t want you. Ever.”

The mistake for Dean, however, was going forward again. Thought he could throw in another punch, but Benny grabbed his fist as it went forward, and he threw a punch back at Dean, twice as strong as he did to Benny at first. His knees gave out and he kneeled down, one hand still held up by Benny, and another punch came.

Dean tasted the blood in his mouth, could feel it dripping from his head, nose, and his hearing felt clogged. The punches came, harder and harder, and the monsters were winning in the physical portion. They were stronger, looming over, but Dean was stronger in another sense, and he knew it’d be okay. Even as Benny lifted him up and threw him over the kitchen counter, his body knocking dishes over and he slid, dropping to the ground, it would be okay.

He heaved and his vision was fuzzy. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was Benny hovering over him, angry, foot moving quickly toward him and before it collided, he instantly was thrown against a tree, and he was alone and it was cold.

It’s okay.

It’s—

Dean spit blood on the grass. 

There was a low screech echoing through the trees and there, lurking in the deep shadows was a monster. If it wasn’t for the slight glow of red eyes peering at him or the even darker shape of it, Dean wouldn’t have been able to tell it was there. 

It just stared at him with narrow eyes and Dean kept its gaze. 

Dean chuckled incredulously, sitting up and leaning his back against a tree. “What are you?”

Its eyes tilted slightly, a flash of purple glazed over quickly. _Your fear,_ it spoke in his mind, voice rough and heavy with a slight hiss.

“I don’t fear you,” he spoke, not breaking eye contact.

_I can feel that._

The monster gave an ominous aura, and Dean knew how dangerous the being was, but there was no fear. He won’t let that control him anymore, and he meant that.

“What are you doing here?” Dean stood up slowly, blade manifesting in his hand. The monster’s gaze shifted to Dean’s hand then back up, and for a moment he thought he saw a glint of humor in the red eyes.

_You’ve come a long way, Dean. Three hundred and ninety four days to be exact. It’s taken you a while, but shorter than most. You’re ready._

“Ready for what?” he asked, tightening his grip on the blade. The eyes disappeared from the shadow and Dean spun around quickly, trying to find it, but he couldn’t see it. A cold breeze of air brushed along Dean’s skin making him get goosebumps and he felt it all the way down his spine.

_To face your fears,_ it whispered by his ear and when Dean tried to swipe his blade behind him, the shadow moved in a black blur, a nail quickly swiping across Dean’s neck as it moved. He hissed, used his free hand to hold where it clawed him.

Cuts began to form on Dean’s body, they were quick but light and the monster only moved in rapid speeds so he couldn’t pinpoint where it was going or where it came from, couldn’t even put a face or body to the voice. Dean breathed heavily and tried to match the monster, cutting through air swiftly, but each time he got nothing, and the cuts he was receiving went harder and deeper, the stinging intensifying each time. It ripped the fabric of his clothing until it was barely hanging on his body, every strip hanging down, held on by thin pieces of string.

It stopped, but only for a moment before a surge of pain went throughout his body and Dean coughed, looking down to see a hand coming out of his stomach, green malted skin mixed with his blood. He stilled as he watched the hand flex then pull out roughly from his body, and instantly he was thrown past a few trees and he landed roughly on the ground, rolling slowly before his body stopped on its stomach.

His breathing became labored and he felt like he was choking on his own blood.

_C’mon, Dean. Fight me._

Dean lifted himself slowly but as soon as he had his knee in the ground, he was kicked again.

_You’re better than this._

Another kick and Dean started to cough up blood.

_Is this why your angel left you? Because you’re weak?_

Dean clenched his hands.

It chuckled and stepped closer, its nails running lightly across Dean’s back.

_It’s better that your angel isn’t here. Won’t have to see you like this. It’d be so disappointed in you._

A flash of bright colors went through the sky and the monster’s nails on Dean’s back went still.

Don’t mention him. Don’t mention something you know nothing about. It doesn’t control Dean. Not fear, not pain. Maybe it did before, but now, it doesn’t, and will never.

There was a warm glow of power that surged throughout Dean’s body, healing him completely. The heat pushed and infiltrated every crevice of his body, and when he stood up, the monster didn’t go for him. Just watched with the same steady red gaze. 

Dean’s vision was a blur, and his body was a soft golden hue and when he stared straight at the monster, the air around Dean began to whip quickly as lights shot out from behind, wrapping around the monster in a cocoon and before it covered its entire body, Dean caught a glimpse of a smirk before it disappeared and everything dissipated in front of him.

The faculties that surrounded his body simmered down, making Dean gasp as it immediately vanished. He blinked once and the world was shifting. Patches of the sky were crumbling and the sun began to peak out through the cracks and the darkness surrounded around began to lift up slowly. As soon as a block of the sky went down to reveal a bright light, Dean’s body evaporated from the world.

A sudden volt of energy went through his body and he gasped as he woke up in his bed, in his house. He blinked at his white ceiling as his body was breathing heavily. He swallowed and watched as a hand retracted from his forehead, and when he followed that hand, that arm, to see Castiel sitting on the bed beside him, he was dumbstruck.

Castiel furrowed his brows and just stared at Dean, eyes were warm with worry but there was a wall he had up.

“C-Cas you’re—“ Dean licked his lips, sitting up slightly. “You’re here…Why are you here?”

Castiel’s shoulders slumped slightly. “Yes. Don’t worry, I’ll leave now.”

Dean realized Cas took his words harshly and he wanted to slap himself. He immediately leaned forward and grabbed Cas’ wrist as the angel started to get up. Cas looked at Dean’s fingers then up to meet his gaze.

“No. Don’t. I just meant that…fuck, you’re real?”

He tilted his head slightly in confusion. “Of course I am.”

Dean licked his lips and laughed incredulously as he looked down. “Why didn’t…why didn’t you ever tell me, Cas? I thought you were just a dream.”

Cas frowned. “I did. I went to your work to see you. Do you not recall?”

“I do remember. I thought he was a completely different person than you…that maybe he didn’t even really exist. He— _you_ —never saw me again. There were no files that you ever came. I thought I was dreaming. Thought maybe I was going a bit crazy.” Dean leaned forward more and Castiel’s frown deepened.

“Dean,” he started, biting his lower lip softly and Dean couldn’t help but to stare because, fuck, this was his Cas. He was real. He was missing him like crazy and he’s right here. He’s no figment. No dream. Here and in person. “You need to lay back down. I healed you, but I’d feel better if you didn’t push yourself.”

Dean’s shoulders relaxed slightly, looking at Castiel in awe. He murmured, “you healed me,” which made Castiel look at him with worried brows. 

Cas sighed. “And I saw you everyday after that, I don’t see how—“

“In my dreams, Cas! How was I supposed to know you’re real?”

This time Castiel pursed his lips and pushed Dean’s body down so he laid down. “Rest. I must go now.” He quickly got up and walked out the door, but now that Dean has and can see Cas, he won’t let him go again. He won’t fuck this up again.

He rushed to follow Castiel out, so fucking close behind him and he ran down the stairs, grabbing Castiel’s arm and pulling Cas toward himself, Cas’ body twisting slightly in the process.

“Dean—“

“Cas, don’t leave! Do you understand why the dreams didn’t show me how you’re real?”

Castiel clenched his jaw slightly as he glared at Dean. “I do.”

“Then why are you leaving? Stay with me—“

“Dean.”

“We can still talk about it, Cas.”

_“Dean.”_

“We can work this out. I love you, Cas.” Dean knew how desperate he sounded, how he’s never talked like this before, how he’s never tried this hard for something he loves before, but he would do anything for this.

Cas clenched his fist as Dean continued and Cas pushed Dean to the wall, pressing his forearm across Dean’s chest as he held him still. “I understand, Dean. Doesn’t mean I feel okay about it. I’m pissed at you. I’m pissed at myself. I’m still hurt about it all.”

Dean looked at Cas steadily. “I know.”

“You were the first person I’ve ever kissed, Dean. On this earth, in that realm, in every aspect. You were my first kiss. The first person I’ve had sex with. The first person to…” He licked his dry lips. “The first person to make me feel something. I fell in love with you, and we had a great time, then you pushed me away. You told me to leave because you weren’t _sure_ if I existed. Well, why didn’t you ever ask me? Tell me to come back to earth? You didn’t.” His jaw began to tremble and Dean rested his hands on Castiel’s hips, gently pulling him forward. “I’ve broken so many rules. I wasn’t supposed to continue to visit you, but I did. I wasn’t supposed to fall for a human, but I did. I’m pissed I let this go this far. I’m pissed you made me leave.”

“Cas,” Dean mumbled.

Cas swallowed and looked at Dean’s lips, his voice dropping. “You pushed me away.”

“I won’t do that ever again. I’m sorry I did in the first place. I promise to you, I won’t again.” Dean whispered, hands sliding up slightly. “I love you.”

Dean opened his mouth to continue, to say something to convince Cas that he’s serious about this, about them, that he’ll never hurt him like that again, but before he could, Cas went forward and connected their lips; messy and rough. Teeth nipped gently at each other’s mouths and their breaths began to pick up slightly.

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s torso tightly at the same time Dean moved his arms to wrap around Cas’ neck, hands messily exploring Cas’ back, shoulders, hair. Dean held on the strands tightly as he tilted his own head to deepen the kiss. 

He felt needy, but goddamn he’s been waiting such a long time. To have Castiel back in his arms, to have him here, in real time, in real life. He’s wanted this so much, and it’s real. No longer a simulation of his brain.

Dean’s brain went hazy, putting as much as he could into the kiss. Putting every ounce of emotion he can, all the love, all the need, all the want. 

He felt raw and his insides burned, and he had no idea why he felt like this, why his body felt oversensitive, why Cas’ fingers left a trail of heat wherever they went.

Murmurs of _please_ and _baby_ and _I love you_ would escape Dean’s lips, and every time Cas would put more into the kiss, into the touches. Their hips ground together and it electrified everything within Dean, his cock felt constricted underneath the layers, just begging to be set free.

The last murmur of _fuck me_ escaped Dean’s lips. And fuck if Cas didn’t comply.

The angel, his angel, his sexy fucking angel with his inhuman powers and his magic touch immediately made their clothes disappear, and his angel, his sexy fucking angel with inhuman strength parted and pushed Dean’s legs apart, bending his knees to his chest, holding him still just like that.

Their lips parted from kissing but still brushed together, heavy breaths mixing together.

“Cas,” panted Dean, moving his fingers to stroke along Cas’ jaw, following across then down his neck. “Fuck me. I don’t need to be prepped, just fuck me.”

“Dean…” murmured Cas in his gravely voice.

“You’re mad at me, right? Fuck me like you are,” Dean continued breathlessly which only made Cas tighten his fingers on Dean’s thighs.

“I would never hurt you like that, Dean,” Cas hissed at him. “I am not your ex, I wouldn’t do that.” He gulped and looked up at Dean, concern etched into his features. “I wouldn’t—“

Dean kissed him with all the love and trust he could muster up, nails barely digging into Cas’ skin. When he pulled away, opening his eyes to watch as Cas opened his own, he whispered, “I know you wouldn’t. I want this. Fuck me like you’re angry with me. This is my consent and order.”

Cas couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle, nipping along Dean’s jaw.

Dean closed his eyes again, waiting for the intrusion, but instead he felt a warmth vibrate throughout his body, his cock throbbing painfully against his own stomach while he felt a pool of heat circle around and run down his spine. He felt himself flutter and there were shots of pleasure squeezing and pulsing all over, making Dean whimper and his thighs tremble.

He so badly wanted to beg, cry out, but nothing wanted to escape his throat.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” whispered Cas, voice even. “Now, if that’s something you’re actually interested in,” Cas pushed his angelic grace into Dean even deeper, the heat within Dean seeming to get hotter as he choked out inaudible whimpers, “then we can do that in the future.”

Dean had a hard time trying to comprehend Cas’ words. There was only the heat and the pleasure, swirling, focusing on trying to creep up, spill, but it couldn’t. It wouldn’t. Cas wouldn’t.

It was too intense for Dean. His mouth parted but no sound. The silent choke and the silent groan. Couldn’t talk, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. The overwhelming sensation made white sparks fly behind his eyelids, and Dean couldn’t control anything, and just before he felt like he would explode, Cas kissed him roughly, the heat slowing down to a soft buzz inside his body.

There was a soft choked groan that emitted from Dean’s throat before he kissed back; weak and pliant. 

Cas took control and it was _okay_. Okay because it’s Cas. Okay because he loves Cas. Okay because Cas isn’t…

It’s okay because Cas is different, and not just being inhuman and immortal, no. He’s different. Dean’s heart reacts differently with him around. He’d give up anything for this angel. 

It’s okay because he told Cas to.

It’s really…okay.

Dean tilted his head back as Cas moved his mouth; grazing and biting and kissing down his neck, leaving small marks.

“Fuck, Cas,” murmured Dean, wasn’t even sure if it was loud enough for the angel to hear.

It was.

There was a soft, wet press against his entrance, slowly pushing forward until the head was pushed in, making Dean’s back arch slightly.

There was no rough intrusion and as Cas pushed his cock further, deeper, letting every inch sink into his human’s body, Dean realized what the heat he felt really did to him. How everything fluttered and opened. How Cas somehow made his own cock wet. How, without pushing anything inside of Dean, he prepped him. And knowing that, that they could just do this…

“You feel so fucking good, Dean,” he panted into Dean’s ear softly, getting used to the warmth clenching around his cock. “Why haven’t you begged me to fuck you before?” Cas tightened his grip on Dean’s thighs as he moved forward, hips thrusting at a steady pace, deep and hard, making Dean whimper as his hands held on; one tangled in Cas’ hair while the other held onto Cas’ shoulder.

“Cas, _Cas,_ fuck—“ Dean babbled incoherently before Cas shut him up with a fervent kiss, tongues sliding in a slow battle. Their bodies pressed so flush, Dean’s cock was aching between them, pulsing, waiting to be touched. 

Dean felt it all, he felt every single drag of Cas’ cock as it slid in and out, how it pushed up and seemingly went deeper, how it hit his spot, and shit shit shit. Cas has never fucked him—fucked _anyone_ —before, yet Cas knew exactly how to make Dean come undone with his precise thrusts. Either Cas was meant to fuck or Dean was an amazing teacher.

There was the heat, again, stronger, pulsating beneath Dean's skin, making him gasp, his thighs trembling slightly. His lips parted as his eyes shut tightly. There was a chuckle from Cas, his teeth gently grazing Dean's neck.

“That’s my boy,” murmured Cas, his grip tightening on Dean’s thighs. He gave a small cry as the heat traveled lower, lower, swirling, until his body felt oversensitive. Dean felt himself flutter, the heat right behind his cock, building up up up, and it’s right there. Right fucking there, but Cas is using his heat to keep Dean from letting go, using his heat to intensify everything, using his heat to keep Dean how _he_ wants him.

“C-cas,” Dean mumbled, “I, I need to come.” Cas did a slow drag as he pulled back, letting the heat tingle in the process.

“I know you do, Dean. But what if I’m not done with you?” Cas leaned in, his nose tracing Dean’s jaw. “You’re so beautiful,” he spoke quietly before he snapped his hips forward, making Dean cry out again. The thrusts were erratic as Cas went harder, deeper. The friction made the heat go higher, hotter.

“Look at your cock, Dean,” whispered Cas as he leaned in against Dean’s ear. Dean shook his head, unable to open his eyes. Cas moved one hand from Dean’s thigh, up, caressing then gripping the back of Dean’s head and forces his head down. 

Dean whimpered, letting his eyes go half-lidded, watching the way his cock is thicker and harder than usual, the leaking tip glistening as it aches to let go. The sight makes Dean clench lightly, his legs squeezing around Cas’ arms that has him up, his fingers digging harder into Cas’ shoulder. 

“God, there you are,” Cas spoke softly, gently pulling Dean’s head back up. His eyes shut again and he felt Cas breathe against his mouth. He parted his mouth as their lips meshed together into a slow and sensual kiss.

A small light glowed from behind Dean’s eyelids, and as he gasped, he felt it. He felt the heat go up again, but this time…fuck, this time it pushed him over. He groaned out loudly against Cas’ mouth, mind going blank as everything just built up, flooding, and the shattering thirst took over as he came hard, crying out against Cas’ mouth.

When Dean’s muscles stopped spasming, Cas slowed and stopped his hips, pressing soft kisses along Dean’s jaw.

Dean groaned as Cas pulled his own cock out.

“Cas, y-you need to come too. You can still fuck—“ Cas kissed him softly, tongue barely grazing Dean’s own.

“I came when you did,” he muttered, pulling away slowly. Cas let go of Dean’s thigh, and when he tried to set him down, he immediately wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist as Dean stumbled forward.

“Fuck,” Dean muttered weakly.

Cas furrowed his brows before lifting a couple fingers to graze Dean’s temples. “I can heal—“ Dean went up and forward, using everything he had in him, which wasn’t much, to kiss Cas, their mouths slotting together gently. Dean muttered a small, “no” and, “wanna feel it” as he lazily wrapped his arms around Cas’ neck.

Dean was first to part away and nudge his nose against Cas’, “Please stay,” Dean whispered as he opened his eyes and licked his lips.

There was a pause and Dean’s heart thumped harder, but when Cas tilted his head and leaned in, brushing his fingers in Dean’s hair from the back he whispered, “I’ll stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meant to post this a while back. Again, all mistakes are mine.  
> I hope this chapter ties in why Dean had that world, how it came about and such.  
> This was only a small fic, and I apologize if anything is confusing.


End file.
